Confessions to a Yellow Duck

The next boy who entered the prefects' washroom was shorter than the others and slightly chubbier. He closed the door quickly, locking it behind him and looked around apprehensively, as if afraid someone was going to stumble upon him and yell at him for being there. He looked too nervous to belong there.

He spotted the yellow rubber duck and his face lit up. "Lellow!" he shouted, racing over to it. Then his face fell as he realized it wasn't his duck.

"You're not Lellow," he said sadly. "I should have known better. Sirius probably stole him from my room, like I originally thought. That's the sort of thing he'd do. I mean, who cares that I've had Lellow since I was three? Who cares that I can't remember a time when I didn't have him? Who cares that I was so young when I got him that I couldn't say 'yellow' and that's why he's names Lellow?" By now, Peter's voice had gotten angry. "Certainly not Sirius Black! All he cares is that stupid little Peter has a stuffed animal. I mean, what else could he do but steal it and make fun of me for it?"

He slumped his shoulders in defeat. "He always makes fun of me, he and James. I don't know why they're so mean to me. I don't do anything wrong. They've no right to tease me like they do. They think just because they're so smart and popular, they can do whatever they want. It's not my fault I'm not that good at school. Things just don't come to me so easily like they do for James and Sirius.

"They're just so brave, and so smart, and so courageous. I feel so stupid around them." During his narrative he had turned on the bubble-bath tap and waited for the water level to rise enough for him to get into the bath. Large blue and pink bubbles filled the air and Peter amused himself by popping one dejectedly every once in awhile.

"Just the other night, we were out in the Forest." He shivered involuntarily. "I hate that place. I hate when they make me go there. There're too many monsters and creatures in there. No sane person would enter voluntarily. And it was the second time this week I was forced to go in there. Sirius got us a detention on the weekend for another one of his stupid pranks.

"The other day, though, it was the full moon. Remus is," his voice dropped to a whisper and his voice was fearful, "a werewolf." He looked terrified to even think about it. "On full moons we go out and wander the woods together.

"I'm the rat." He punctuated the statement by popping a particularly large blue bubble. The soapsuds got into his eyes and he squeezed them tightly, trying not to cry out in pain. Fumbling for the taps, he turned on one of the water ones and washed out his eye."

Peter glanced at the duck, who was looking at him with a sympathetically face. "You aren't going to make fun of me, then?" Peter asked bitterly. "That's a first. My friends never cease to make fun of me. Sirius is always going on about Ratboy. They called me Wormtail!" His lip curled up in disgust. "The others get names like Prongs and Padfoot and Moony, and I get stuck with Wormtail. It's not fair."

The duck gave him a look that, if it were to be translated into words, would be taken to mean, "Life isn't fair." However Peter was in no mood to get philosophical with a rubber ducky, so ignored it.

"They always make fun of me, pick on me, just because I'm not as brave as they are. So what if I don't like risking my neck once a month to go gallivanting about with a werewolf? It doesn't mean I'm not brave, it just means I'm not stupid. What would happen if it escaped one month? I, for one, wouldn't want to have to go catch a feral werewolf.

"It happened this month, too. Well, almost. First it lured us towards some giant spiders," he shuddered in remembrance of the monstrosities, "then Remus gave us the slip. If I hadn't been paying attention, who knows what would have happened. But did James or Sirius thank me? Of course not. That would mean they would have to acknowledge that I saved the day. That's just simply unthinkable, that little pathetic Peter Pettigrew might actually have saved the day instead of brave, heroic James Potter or Sirius Black."

With a violent wave of his hand, he pushed all the bubbles away from his head, popping several in the process. Then he calmed down again.

"They don't give me any respect. I'm just someone they keep around so they have someone to blame when things go wrong. It's always, 'Peter, be quiet;' 'Peter, don't be so clumsy;' 'Shh, shut up, Peter, else we'll get caught;' 'Stupid Peter, thanks for getting us caught!' As if I was the only one who ever made any noise. It's not my fault I've gotten us caught once or twice. So have the others. But if you heard them saying it, it would seem that I was the only one ever to get us caught.

"I don't see why I always get the blame. It's not fair." There was that word again, but Peter was too busy ranting to even notice the rubber ducky anymore. "They pick on me, they always pick on me. They never stop. Nothing I can do is ever good enough for them. They only keep me around so they can have someone to laugh at, someone they can blame when things go wrong. That's all I am to them, a scapegoat."

He slumped forward. "Sometimes I think they hate me. Why else would they torment me so much? I'm always the last to know anything, no one ever confides in me. I get made fun of the most. Teachers hate me; the other students hate me. It's just not fair."

By now his skin had become wrinkly, so Peter judged it was time to go. He took his time getting out of the tub and dressing. When he left, he ran into Sirius, who was just coming in.

"Hey Wormtail!" Sirius said cheerfully. Then he peered at the smaller boy. "Say, since when are you a prefect?"

Peter's eyes widened. "It's not my fault," he stammered. "I didn't want to come here, but - " he broke off suddenly. "Hey, you're not a prefect, either!" he accused.

Sirius grinned at him. "Of course not! But their bathroom's so much better. I got the password out of James months ago. Who told you? Prongs? Or Moony?"

"Remus did," Peter answered. "I'm gonna go now." He seemed anxious to get away from the scene of the crime.

"See you later, Wormtail!" Sirius called after the retreating form.

The rubber ducky watched Peter leave with troubled eyes, worrying about him. The troubled eyes quickly became fearful, however, when she got a good look at the boy left behind.

End of Peter's Part
Wednesday, June 13, 2001

Just one left to go.  I'm hoping to have Sirius' part out by Friday.  In other good news, tomorrow's my last day of classes.  I just have exams next week then I'm out of school for the summer.  I can't wait.

Queen Kakia - You just want the duck to be evil, don't you?  RavenNat - I'm glad you're enjoying.  Cali - It could be Dumbledore, but then he would have known about them being Animagi and that wouldn't fit.  Also thanks for reviewing, Dark Girl, Rachel Granger-Gryffindor, and Sweet Tal.

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